Thoughts of a Jashinist
by Dajypop
Summary: Hidan's relaxing bath is interrupted.


Title: Thoughts of a Jashinist  
Author: Piratedolliebaby  
Rating: M  
Fandom: Naruto  
Pairing: Hidan-centric. Slight KakuzuHidan  
Category: Horror/General  
Summary: Hidan's relaxing bath is interrupted.

AN: Okay, so…I love Hidan. I had to write him when I found myself doing something similar to something I could see him doing. So..this was born. Don't flame, please, this is my first time playing Hidan.  
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Stalking the halls of the Akatsuki base, Hidan narrowed violet eyes. His pale, slightly marred skin seemed to glow, now that he walked around in only pants, since he'd decided it was time to relax. Heading into the bathroom, the temperamental former priest closed the door behind him, getting the water started. He'd snuck into Pein's private bathroom, since it was nicer than any other one, and he had the feeling he'd get caught and beheaded or something this time.

Normal people would turn on the hot water first, not too much, and proceed to turn on the cold water to balance it. Hidan, though, simply turned the hot knob until it wouldn't go anymore. The scalding water poured from the tap, filling the room with steam and a strange feeling of stickiness that would make anyone else's hair frizz out. But once more, this man was different in the fact that he piled so much goop onto his head to keep his hair in place that nothing could get it to move. The pale man smirked coldly at himself in the mirror, the pendant always around his neck glinting in the light.

"Hello, gorgeous." He teased, running a hand over his stiff hair before both hands dropped to his dark pants, fingers slipping under the waistline. Without too much trouble from well-formed arms, the article of clothing was soon pushed down to his ankles, then unceremoniously kicked off. Stepping back to the tub, he stuck his foot under the water to check the temperature; with disgust clearly written on his face, he found the tub half-full with already cooling water.

With a growl, he figured his bath in the leader's bathroom was now ruined; the tub was huge and roomy, and nowhere near full enough for his liking. Pein-sama and Konan must have already had a bath. Stupid fucking people and their fucking stupid sex. Not that he didn't _enjoy_ sex, especially with Kakuzu, but that was beside the point. Sex with love involved was just gross.

With an unhappy grunt, he climbed into the less-than-hot-enough water, his foot still turning bright red with the heat alone. A slight purr left him, a faint rumble in his throat that died instantly when he heard someone walk past the door. He nearly broke his neck scrambling to lock the door, turn off the water and completely submerge himself all in one motion. Closing those violet eyes, he sighed contentedly.

As he cracked an eye open to test his theory of how hot the water was, he lifted a bright red leg out of the liquid, watching steam rise from the burned skin. A sick, twisted smile formed on his lips and he slowly melted into the heat.

Thoughts poured in in twos and twelves, some about life, a couple pertaining to love, a few leading to Kakuzu, and then many heading towards Jashin and the Afterlife. A sigh left his lips as he wondered if Kakuzu would be there with him. Maybe it would be a new reason to try so hard to get him to convert, other than the fact that it was his job, given to him directly from Jashin himself.

Slowly he let his eyes open and fall on his pants; despite how comfortable he was, he half-wanted to go find Kakuzu and share this bath with him. Of course, the ungrateful, vapid and arcane man would probably just complain about the heat, lack of money involved, and most importantly the scarcity of sex. What a tiresome end to such a lovely peace. In all honesty, Hidan wasn't quite sure what kept him with Kakuzu, except for the fact that the man was amazing in bed. A sigh left his lips again and he shook his head, moving about in the tub until his back was to the door.

With his new position, he didn't quite notice something sneaking under the door. The black thread traveled up the door to the lock, working it loose and causing a vague smile on the more detached man's face. As soon as Hidan heard the lock snap, his eyes split open and his head turned. In quite the timely manner, the scoundrel known as Kakuzu made his entrance and closed, and locked the door behind him. Well, so much for relaxing.

A sigh, once more exasperated, left the albino as he paused for a thought; he'd never cuddled with Kakuzu before. Turning on the hot water nonchalantly, he used some of Konan's lavender bubble bath, relishing in the sweet smell. Of course, it wrinkled the nose of the much larger man; that was the only way to describe this man. Everything about him was huge; he had massive hands, thick, long legs, colossal arms, a nice, might trunk, a big neck, and quite the voluptuous lower bits. Being the largest member of the Akatsuki, it was obvious he'd be well-endowed in every way.

Each muscle in his strong arms flexed as he yanked off his cheap, scratchy shirt, tossing it behind him without much care. Hidan nearly rolled over in the tub to watch the next part, and he noticed that his partner was without his headgear for once; Kakuzu knew how much he loved that. Nearly drooling like an inarticulate moron, the former priest beheld the inane striptease carefully, keeping himself on a rather short leash. He had an evil plan, and he'd enact it as soon as his 'lover' would get in with him. As a finally uncovered Kakuzu slipped into the tub, he offered a cheeky grin; quite literally. His teeth showed through his somewhat-loosely sewn jowls. But perhaps that was something Hidan liked about him; he was the closest thing to a dead body he could find. The plus side? He could actually show him some kind of attention in return.

With a smile and eager purr, Hidan gravitated to his partner, wrapping his arms around his broad chest and snuggling his head into the man's stitched shoulder. After a few minutes of almost-silent cuddling, Kakuzu finally piped up.

"Hidan…? What the hell are you doing?"

"Cuddling."

"Why?"

"I feel like it. Now, shut up, Slave."

AN: I'm sorry guys, no sex this time. It just wasn't in the cards. I had three votes for a 'no' in a row. So there really was no chance for it. Now, to think up a summary…Remember to PLEASE R&R!


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